Feeling Fabulous and Fit at Fifty and Beyond with Cheryl Ilov: Resilience in Life and Leadership Episode 037

Stephanie has an amazing interview with the incredibly empowering Cheryl Ilov!

Cheryl is an author, speaker, physical therapist, martial artist, dancer, and former chronic pain patient.  She published the award-winning and best-selling book, “Forever Fit and Flexible: Feeling Fabulous at Fifty and Beyond" in 2016. With over 20 years’ experience as a physical therapist in private practice, She has helped thousands of clients recover from pain and injuries by integrating the science of physical therapy with the art of movement. She believes that everyone can enjoy vibrant health and vitality, at every stage of life.   She is also a second-degree black belt in an ancient Japanese martial art called Ninpo Tai Jutsu. From her own experience of beginning her training at the tender young age of 47 and becoming her teacher’s first female black belt 10 years later, Cheryl discovered that there is an incredible amount of strength and power in each and every one of us, just waiting to be unleashed. 

https://www.cherylilov.com/

Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean and how to we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma; and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries, and, sometimes a few rants, to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way, and you want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!

https://stephanieolson.com

INSPIRE your team to LEAD WITH SUCCESS and MOTIVATE others with Stephanie bringing 20+ years of speaking experience. If you need to EMPOWER, ENGAGE, and EDUCATE your people-Book Stephanie as your speaker today!

https://www.stephanieolson.com/ask-stephanie-to-speak

Everyone has resilience, but what does that mean, and how do we use it in life and leadership? Join Stephanie Olson, an expert in resiliency and trauma, every week as she talks to other experts living lives of resilience. Stephanie also shares her own stories of addictions, disordered eating, domestic and sexual violence, abandonment, and trauma, and shares the everyday struggles and joys of everyday life. As a wife, mom, and CEO she gives commentaries and, sometimes, a few rants to shed light on what makes a person resilient. So, if you have experienced adversity in life in any way and want to learn how to better lead your family, your workplace, and, well, your life, this podcast is for you!

https://stephanieolson.com

Transcript

Stephanie Olson: 0:03

Welcome to resilience in life and leadership with your host Stephanie Olson, speaker, author addictions sexual violence and resilience expert. Hello and welcome to resilience in life and leadership. And I have the privilege of introducing to you Cheryl I love Cheryl is an author, speaker, physical therapist, martial artists dancer, and former chronic pain patient. She published the award winning and best selling book forever fit and flexible, feeling fabulous at 50 and beyond in 2016. With over 20 years experience as a physical therapist in private practice, she has helped 1000s of clients recover from pain and injuries by integrating the science of physical therapy with the art of movement. Cheryl believes that everyone can enjoy vibrant health and vitality at every stage of life. She's also a second degree black belt in an ancient Japanese martial arts and from her own experience of beginning by training at the tender age of 47. And becoming her teachers first female blackbelt 10 years later, she discovered that there is an incredible amount of strength and power in each and every one of us just waiting to be unleashed. Welcome Cheryl. Well, hello, and welcome to resilience in life and leadership. I am so excited to have Cheryl I love and I love that name. That is fantastic. with us. Welcome Cheryl to the podcast.

Cheryl Ilov: 1:37

dated and it is so nice to be here with you today. Stephanie. So thank you for having me.

Stephanie Olson: 1:42

Thank you. All right, here we go. You are a pretty amazing and busy woman you have you're a physical therapist, you are a ninja. I'm just gonna call you a ninja. That's what that's what it was for me. Yep. And yeah, tell us how you got there.

Cheryl Ilov: 2:04

Well, as you know, I'm every journey test its forks in the roads. And like I like to say that fork has many times and many different directions that it takes you in and I actually got my master's degree in physical therapy. When I was in my late 30s. I graduated from physical therapy school, just three months shy of Thank you three months shy of my 40th birthday, even though and this is a life lesson already from the get go right out of the gate. I was told I was too old to go back to school.

Stephanie Olson: 2:39

Really? Yes. Oh my goodness, shame on them.

Cheryl Ilov: 2:43

Well, there were many things. I was told that shame on them. And thank goodness, I didn't listen to them. I mean, I did it first. And I physical therapy as my second career. My first career was a respiratory therapist. So was working in the hospitals, critical care, life support equipment resuscitation team, it was very intense. Oh, yeah, it was a rewarding career. But it was very intense. And, you know, for some crazy reason, I decided that maybe I wanted another career path. But I still kind of enjoyed the medical field to a certain degree. So I decided physical therapy would be a wonderful path for me to take. As a dancer, I started dancing late in life at the age of 19, or 20. And I started step. Thank you. I do everything late.

Stephanie Olson: 3:39

I want to get back to that. Because that's really important. I want to really hit hit home on that late in life thing. So we'll come back to that. But But

Cheryl Ilov: 3:50

let me let me tell you, I assure you this late in life thing just follows me wherever I go. So you're gonna

Stephanie Olson: 3:58

love it. That's firing. I love thanks.

Cheryl Ilov: 4:02

So I'm actually from a small steel town in western Pennsylvania, which is why I now live in Denver, Colorado. Yep. And yep, there's a reason. And you know, a friend of mine with college roommate and I just a few months or no, not months, a few days after we graduated, we packed up my Ford Maverick and drove out to Denver to fame and fortune. It was crazy. We had no idea what we were doing, but it was, hey, let's go to Denver. And she's like, okay, so we did. And, you know, when I got there, and I continued my ballet training, which I'd only had about a year under my belt. I kept taking ballet classes, and then I discovered Pilates. So I got really heavy into Pilates. And life was going pretty well for me. You know, going to Pilates ballet class had a good job. skied on my days off yeah, you know, the Rocky Mountains. Hello, great skiing, right? And then I kind of had the was pulled out from underneath me. I started to get these little twitches in my low back. So I did the sensible thing. I ignored them right thinking it would go away. Absolutely. What else would you do?

Stephanie Olson: 5:12

I can't imagine.

Cheryl Ilov: 5:15

Well, it didn't work. So I start those twinges started to turn into like, you know, really bad tightness and almost pain. So I did stretch, I did hot packs, trying to take care of it myself, and that worked about as well as the stretching. Wow. In a matter of just a few short months, I went from being a healthy, vibrant, active young woman to a chronic pain patient.

Stephanie Olson: 5:42

Oh my goodness. Wow.

Cheryl Ilov: 5:45

And I'm telling you, the pain was indescribably excruciating. And it shot across my low back down both hips and buttocks, down my legs and all the way down to the tip of my toe in one of my legs making work just almost impossible. I had to really you know, as a respiratory therapist, you're moving equipment. You're running all over the hospital. Yeah. And bending over patients. And, you know, I had to cut back on my hours. So instead of going to Pilates and ballet and skiing, I was going to doctor's appointments, physical therapy, appointments, massage therapy. I was taking all of the medications they gave me pain pills, muscle relaxers anti inflammatories, I was doing all the stretches and the exercises, everything that the physical therapists told me to do. Instead of getting better, I was getting worse. Wow. And I spiraled down to the point where it was so bad. I had one of my doctors tell me, I would never be able to do my laundry and grocery shopping all in the same day. Because the arthritis in my spine was so severe, I would end up being bedridden.

Stephanie Olson: 6:58

Oh my gosh. So it was arthritis. That was the problem?

Cheryl Ilov: 7:02

Well, probably not. But that's what they were diagnosing me. And that's another little point I want to make when people put a label on you. Yeah. Don't accept it. If it doesn't go, you know, if it doesn't resonate with you, right? Yeah. If it doesn't feel right, there's a reason why it doesn't. And it was like, Oh, my gosh, you know, this chronic pain patient. And I looked at this woman and I said, You don't understand I'm planning on going back to ballet class. And she laughed in my face.

Stephanie Olson: 7:32

She did. Oh, my gosh, think about that. Oh, and stating,

Cheryl Ilov: 7:37

isn't that horrible? It's just a horrible thing. I even to this day, I can't believe anybody would do that. And she said, you know, you can't do ballet. You're never going to have the life that you had before. You're never going to have the life that you want. And for what about ballet? Oh, it gets worse. And she said besides, you are way too old for ballet class.

Stephanie Olson: 7:59

Ah, okay.

Cheryl Ilov: 8:01

Yeah. Thank you.

Stephanie Olson: 8:04

This was a doctor. Yes.

Cheryl Ilov: 8:08

Oh, my one of my caregivers.

Stephanie Olson: 8:10

Oh my gosh, I cannot even imagine hearing that. That must have been really just like a punch in the gut.

Cheryl Ilov: 8:18

Yeah, absolutely. That's exactly what it felt like. And I was almost like, confused. Like, I couldn't process the information. And then she told me to start applying for disability because I was going to need it. You know, someday soon. And she knew I was planning on trying to get into physical therapy school is one of my goals. And she says you better forget about physical therapy school because you are too broken. You cannot do the work. And even if you could, you are way too old to go back to school.

Stephanie Olson: 8:44

Oh my gosh. Okay. How old was this woman?

Cheryl Ilov: 8:48

You know, I don't know. I'm guessing she was like 50 ish. And I was 36 at the time.

Stephanie Olson: 8:53

Wow. Very bitter woman jealous or something? I don't think Oh, wow. That is horrible.

Cheryl Ilov: 9:03

Isn't that a horrible thing? So I am

Stephanie Olson: 9:06

glad I am already glad that whether you listened to it initially or not. You just pushed that away. Because what a debilitating thing to say to somebody.

Cheryl Ilov: 9:19

She took away my hope. She shattered my spirit. She destroyed my dreams. What else could you do to somebody if you want to just take them down from the inside out? So I went home, I hit rock bottom. And it was just a few days later. It was like I heard this in my head. No, no, I am not going to live like this. Obviously, I'm going to have to figure this out for myself because they're not helping me. They're making it worse. Wow. Yes. So that was this epiphany that came out of nowhere. Plus, I think I may be always had a bit of a fighting spirit inside of me. I could

Stephanie Olson: 10:03

see that. Yes,

Cheryl Ilov: 10:04

yeah, I can. Yeah. And that's another point I want to make is that most of us do. We just don't know how to access that right fighting spirit. So. So I just decided I fired all of my caregivers, much to their chagrin, because they felt I needed them to take care of the looping. Yeah, and they weren't doing a very good job, or they,

Stephanie Olson: 10:29

Oh, my goodness, that's amazing. And I stopped

Cheryl Ilov: 10:32

taking all the medications. I stopped doing all the stupid. And I also I can say it because I'm PT. Stupid stretches and exercises they were giving me to do and because they weren't working. So I went back to is like, I knew movement enough, or I should have I felt this, that I could figure it out on my own and figure out what was making me feel worse, and what would make the pain go away. So I just went back to the basics of how we learned how to move when we were children. Nobody said when we were babies, here, here are these little baby barbells. Do these exercises, build up those biceps? Then put one hand here one hand here, and this is how you roll over. Right? We learned how to move through exploration, exploring our movements, our bodies, our environment. That's how we learned. So that's what I did. I did that really, you know, paid attention to the sensations in my body. I was feeling what I was thinking what I was doing. And I added acupuncture.

Stephanie Olson: 11:40

Oh, wow. Okay. I have heard amazing things about acupuncture. But so tell me, how did that did that instantly receive relief pain? Or what? What did that look like?

Cheryl Ilov: 11:55

It took the pain down to a level that was manageable. I mean, even when I went to the acupuncturist for the first time, you know, Stephanie, this is really kind of funny, and really a little embarrassing, because I wanted to go wearing a disguise. I didn't want anybody to see me, because this is on a very busy main street that was not far from the hospital that I was working at. And I went right after my shift. I was wearing my bright green scrubs that identified me as a respiratory therapist in that department. So like, if other people work with or driving past me, you'll see me walking into this clinic. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this. This is how desperate I was. Yeah. And you know, the first time he he was a lovely man, he was Korean. And did you know, like a Korean technique. And you know, the needles were a little uncomfortable. But when he put one needle all the way into my hip joint, and he did what I call the twizzle. And he started twirling like this, this little needle on him. It's not a real big needle, but you could feel it deep in there. And I was hyperventilating. And I kept saying, I'm not going to pass out, I'm not going to pass out. And he said, Oh, you'd be surprised how many people do and I said, No, I wouldn't. And it was right now. Awful. And I went home and I had this horrible burning sensation in my hip. And I thought, Oh, my God, as soon as I go home, I'm gonna have to take a pain pill and I lay down on the couch. And, you know, I just started to cry a little bit. And my husband says, I'll go get you one of your pills. I said, Okay. When he came back down, I was sitting up and I said, Fine.

Unknown: 13:40

Wow. Wow. And he

Cheryl Ilov: 13:43

just like, Are you sure? And I said, I feel fine. And I was able to move around a little bit more. And I had the same type of reaction after the second one. And then all of a sudden, I never had that reaction. Again. It's crazy. This is the first time I've really talked about this, you know, since I did that, and that was over. That was 30 years ago. But I never really had a reaction like that before. And you know, actually, the acupuncturist was kind of pleased. He says that's actually good. Because that, yeah, he says, that means that we're getting to the root of the problem. And I'm good, okay, in two sessions, you have gotten to the root of the problem in two and a half years. What was I doing? And just you know, so the medical experts, and I can say this again, because I am because you are one? Yeah, exactly. They don't always have the answers. Right. And if if you're not getting better, if it's not working for you, there are always alternative things to try. So basically, it took about eight or nine months I was completely pain free. I was stiff. I was out of shape. You know, it was time to start getting back into trying ballet class and that was when I got the letter. For that I was accepted into the physical therapy program, if Colorado University and I would be starting school in like six weeks, and it was like, Oh, God, no, what do I do? Yes. So I went to physical therapy school, and I graduated three months shy on my 40th birthday. So I wasn't too old after all.

Stephanie Olson: 15:21

Congratulations, that that is unbelievable. And I, I'm just, I'm still very stunned that anybody would tell you otherwise. And I think there is such a stigma with an you know, as women, aging, and all of the things that come with it, and it can be very, very difficult. And I think then, to have somebody tell you, you're too old to do anything is absolutely demoralizing. Yeah,

Cheryl Ilov: 15:59

it is demoralizing. And that, you know, I'm so glad it happened. Yeah. Because it launched me on this, you know, trajectory that said, Not on my watch. This is not the way it's going to be. And interestingly enough, when I finished physical therapy school, and I started working as a PT, I hated it.

Stephanie Olson: 16:21

Really?

Cheryl Ilov: 16:27

Oh, bummer. Such a bummer. And, you know, the job market when I finished school was actually terrible for physical therapists at the time, which is like, my timing is always a little bit off. Or maybe it's not, maybe it's meant to be, right. So after struggling in this really horrible work environment for two and a half years, it was like, you know, what I got, I was sitting in this horrible, boring, boring, boring meeting. And I had another one of those epiphanies. It's like, you know, what, there are people out there teaching Pilates who don't really know what they're doing. I had taken two professional trainings after I finished PT school for Pilates. I had been studying Pilates for myself for 13 years at that point. And I thought, I can open up my own place, and just specialize in Pilates based rehab and conditioning. So that's what I did. And I did that. And I ran my own. I had my own office for 18 years. I closed my practice in May of 2017. And then I just relaunched it online recently, just this past month.

Stephanie Olson: 17:33

It's fantastic. I love that. So what was the difference between what you were doing with physical therapy? And what you did with a Pilates based therapy program?

Cheryl Ilov: 17:48

Great question. Thank you for asking that. When I was, you know, doing the traditional PT, there was an incredible amount of pressure on the therapists to, you know, produce, you know, your productivity is huge, you have to a certain amount of productivity and your numbers, which means that a lot of times as you're trying to get these numbers and your productivity to the level of what the facility you're working for once, that means you're cutting out time. So that means that you're delegating a lot of the hands on and the physical work to your physical therapy assistant, to your the aides, you're doing a lot of the paperwork, the bureaucracy, and this is the diagnosis. This is the, you know, what is it the ICD nine code, this is the protocol, you get for visits, these are your limitations, it was just terrible. And from my experience on the receiving end of PT, you know, it obviously didn't. I mean, it helped a little bit for me as an outpatient. But it didn't really work that well for me until I went and just figured it out on my own. So basically, you know, I had this big Pilates background, I had the background and the experience of being a chronic pain patient. So I definitely have that empathy and and boy, can I relate. And I had the education of being a PT. So I was and the dance background. So I was able to weave it all together to integrate these skills. And it's interesting, I did not take insurance. It was cash only practice. So right there, I cut out a lot of rock cracy and limitations, right. And a lot of people that came to me they either failed traditional PT, or they went to their PT and they got improvement, but then they were cut off at a certain point because the insurance says you're good enough. Yeah. Okay. And they weren't happy with their level of function. They wanted more so they would come to me. Then the third type of client that I would have, were people like me, who had experienced the, you're never going to get any better. You have to figure out how to live with this. And I, you know, so I had got the desperate cases. And I'll never forget my first one of my first clients, bless her heart, lovely lady. And she had gone through the gamut. Oh, my gosh, and she was dropped a lot of times, you know, for various reasons. I tell that, you know, they just dismissed her for, you know, either being a complainer, and you know, and I got that out, too. Yeah. And it wasn't until about her. I've had maybe her third or fourth visit, that she came to me and she was, you know, had tears in her eyes. And she says, Thank you so much. I feel so much better. You were my last

Stephanie Olson: 20:45

hope. Oh, my gosh, yeah. And when she

Cheryl Ilov: 20:49

told me that, all I could think of was Oh, thank you for not telling me that from the very right.

Stephanie Olson: 20:56

No pressure. Right. You know, I couldn't handle

Cheryl Ilov: 21:00

the pressure. But you know, as, as a clinician as a practitioner? Yeah. You know, and I would tell my clients, I am not going to fix you. Yeah, absolutely. I am going to teach you how to fix yourself. Right. So right away, I took that patriarchy, you know, right out of right. And I hear you have the power. I'm giving you the your power back. That's it. You've lost through this experience.

Stephanie Olson: 21:28

Right. Oh, that is amazing. And I can really relate to a lot of what you're saying, because I recently ruptured my Achilles tendon. Oh. Oh, that sucks. Like a Hoover. Yeah, exactly. And had really been doing a tremendous amount just really getting, I've always loved to work out. But, you know, the whole, you turn 50 or whatever, all those things, and things. And so I had recently just found again, working out and really getting to this place where yes, okay, I'm on a roll, and fun family tennis game. Oh, fun. Oh, it was fun. Until till that moment, but what I think has been so interesting is just the, the getting that strength back and working, you know, because at first you lose all of your independence, your ability to walk, I was on the right foot. So my ability to drive and, and that was just very difficult. But with a lot of that has come some pain in my back. And in my end, it's all of this stuff. And so I'm, I'm, I can't wait to get to the online part. So I can learn. Wow, I can I can receive your your wisdom and brilliance because that it does so much more damage than just the physical, emotional. depression and isolation is horrible.

Cheryl Ilov: 23:20

Yeah, it really does a number on your head. And then you're looking at all the things that you used to be able to do, right, you're looking at, you've lost that. Well, of course, you know, with the pandemic, we've all lost human contact, you know, which is what we really need. But you know, one of the things that I missed so much, you know, ballet was such an important and still is such an important part of my life, that I didn't have that interaction, that social interaction with my friends in ballet class, right? And you know, the feeling of sharing a passion with a group of people who feel the same way about this, as you do you know, it, whether it's, you know, playing pickleball or, you know, tennis or dance, or whatever it is swimming, whatever it is of sharing that it's a feeling of community, and you lose that and you almost feel I made it even more devastated and isolated. Yeah, the depression is just terrible. And, you know, I used to be, I was able to walk, of course, you know, and I would walk my dogs up on the highline canal if we'd lived in a townhouse at the time and this wonderful walking path, and I would see one of my ballet sisters, I call it my bar buddies. I would always see one of my bar buddies lived in the neighborhood and she would be jogging, although why anybody would want to run I don't know. But you know, she would she was a

Stephanie Olson: 24:39

runner. Yes, really? Oh,

Cheryl Ilov: 24:42

but I would see her running and either she would always stop and talk to me. You could just see it on her face the sympathy and how she felt so sorry for me. And that was even harder to take, you know, see her and, and I remember when I did finally get back to ballet class and she said, you know, I didn't think we'd ever see you again. Oh, wow. So that so you know, I really understand, but let me tell you, you can heal from anything, our bodies have an incredible capacity to heal.

Stephanie Olson: 25:12

Absolutely, absolutely. Wow, this is just so amazing. So now you have this incredible studio. And you're telling people, you are not done. And I think that's so important because people do need that hope. And they do need to know that, that this is not necessarily how I have to live, right? The rest of my life, right? Yes. And you can relate because you've

Cheryl Ilov: 25:46

been there more times than once. Oh, my goodness.

Stephanie Olson: 25:50

So now, tell me about martial arts.

Cheryl Ilov: 25:55

Okay.

Stephanie Olson: 25:57

Because I can see behind you, you got all these amazing things going on? Yeah. Got my toys. From ballet. Two belts. Right. Yeah. Thank

Cheryl Ilov: 26:09

you. I love that. And that's exactly kind of what happened. You know, and it starts out with another one of those tough stories. Okay, so I'm running my own practice, right? I got myself back into shape after the pain and the, you know, two years of sitting on my butt and PT school, which I always found fascinating, you know, that a program who, who teaches people who are already very physical and committed to physical activity, you take these same people, and you sit them down and make them sit still, for two years in a row. It's like, it made no sense to me. But anyhow, I was 44. I was, you know, life was good. I was feeling good. I was looking good. I was happy, you know, things were just really going great. And then I had the rug pulled out from underneath me again. And this was a tough one. I walked into a doctor's office, it was someone I hadn't known, you know, never been to this person before. So I walked in as a healthy, vibrant, 44 year old woman on top of the world. And I walked out a statistic.

Unknown: 27:17

Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah.

Cheryl Ilov: 27:21

And that was a tough one. And, you know, the shocks even now, it's still kind of shocks me, it's like, I can't believe that really happened. You know. And the problem is, when I tried to get help, and I tried to report it, just so you know. I mean, I was incensed that this could happen to anybody. And if it happened to me with a medical background, pretty, you know, medical savvy, medically savvy, you know, I know, I wasn't the first woman. I'm smart enough. Oh, sorry. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but it does happen. And it's funny, not funny, but it's interesting. I have actually recently talked to several women on my podcast, that have been sexually, you know, abused for like periods of time from like, psychologists, psychiatrists, I mean, horrible stories. I mean, it does happen. But when I tried to report it and get help, and I wanted to make sure that this person, you know, could be stopped, so no other woman have to go through this, right? Even the people that were closest to me, shut me down.

Stephanie Olson: 28:26

Really, what, what,

Cheryl Ilov: 28:29

my what my husband, my wife started with my very best friend, okay. And she just said, Oh, that can't possibly happen. And, you know, you're always complaining, you're so melodramatic and blah, blah, blah. And I says, Look, you don't understand. This was my best friend of many years. And she says, All you ever do is complain. Oh, my gosh, I know, this is my best and dearest friend. And she says, other people have real problems, and you need to listen to them. And she said, your responsibility is to me and I'm like, Okay, I knew that this friendship was kind of on the rocks or not, you know, and that was kind of the final straw. So then I tried my husband. Wow, so many Wiles, thank you for that. It validates me. And then I tried talking to my husband who was going like, this is girl stuff, you need to talk to Kathleen, you know, my girlfriend, I'm like, okay, so and then I couldn't tell him, you know, tried telling a few other people and got the same thing. You know, I was working in a clinic at the time. I'm doing some side work, you know, in addition to my own place, and you know, they're like, That can't happen. You need to really search your memory. There's something you were abused as a child, this happened to you and I'm like, Well, I almost fell off a roller coaster when I was a little girl. But that turned out okay. And no, there's nothing that I can ever think of that happened. So basically, I realized why women don't complain or why they

Stephanie Olson: 29:59

do Report. That's exactly why they do actly it. And in its that is, I was actually just talking to somebody about this, and we have got to do better, we have got to do better, we have to be active listeners, we have to be willing to, you know, really, really bad things happen to people. And we have to be willing to let that be a thing, that despite our shock, of have the situation, we have to be willing to listen and say, Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry. That happened to you. That was not your fault.

Cheryl Ilov: 30:45

Exactly. And I think it's getting to be a little bit more, you know, people are starting to be more receptive to that. But I think what happened is, other women don't want to hear it, because they don't want to even believe that they could possibly be in that kind of situation. Yeah, you know, and to be that vulnerable. And to have that happen, right, you know, and they just don't want to believe that it's possible. So basically, I just did what a lot of women do. And it's really interesting, because when people treat you like that the way I was treated afterwards, was just as traumatic, maybe even more so than the event itself to be that invalidated. And you understand, I mean, you've got a background and a history. Yeah. And you know, the worst thing you can do is to be ignored. Yes. You know what, when that doctor told me, you know, I would never be able to do anything again. I was too old and decrepit. Right? Yeah. Well, she gave me something. She didn't ignore me. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. So you know, I just stuffed it deep inside of me put a big ol smile on my face and pretended that everything is was going to be fine. And as we all know, you know, eventually it comes blah, you know, spewing out eventually at some point,

Stephanie Olson: 32:02

right, at some point, if you don't grieve something, and yes, you don't want to deal with that, that pain and that hurt you. You will at some point, yeah, yeah.

Cheryl Ilov: 32:12

And, you know, I used to be really good about getting regular massages and stuff. And it was like, ain't doing that anymore. You know, I just often would go to I had male massage therapists, they were wonderful. But I couldn't face it. I just couldn't do it. And I needed some body work. And one of my clients told me about this guy, his name was Mark. And he does you know, he's an acupuncturist, but he does shiatsu. She wouldn't let him do acupuncture because she was afraid of it. But she says, Oh, he finds the spots. He does this wonderful shiatsu. And of course, I say, are you allowed to stay fully clothed? And she goes, Oh, yeah, you're fully clothed, that did Simon, I thought, I'll try this guy, because I was experiencing a lot of as you can imagine, aches and pains and stress and muscles. Yeah, it's horrible. So, you know, I met this guy, and he did a shiatsu session. And you know, I was telling him about other things that were going on. He says, you know, could really help you a lot more if you'd let me do some acupuncture. And I'm like, I don't know about that. He says, Let me think about it. So eventually, I did let him do acupuncture on me. And the very first time he put needles in my legs, he got a very far away look on his face and a very thoughtful expression. And he said to me, you know, with your legs, and my coaching, I could teach you how to kill with these things.

Stephanie Olson: 33:38

I love that.

Cheryl Ilov: 33:41

I didn't.

Stephanie Olson: 33:44

Well, you weren't in the right spot at that.

Cheryl Ilov: 33:49

No, I wasn't. And I was like, oh, no, I can't believe this. Who in their right mind actually thinks like this, let alone says it out loud. And I'm looking for my purse go and I'm going to just grab my purse and run. But I couldn't because I was literally pinned to the table. So he had a captive audience. And I couldn't. And I was just so like, dumbfounded. He had a clinic or his clinic was right next door to a dojo, his dojo, his martial arts schools like duplex. And I was like, well, thank you very much, but I think I'll save my killer legs for ballet class, go get me out of here. This guy's nuts. And you know, I thought about maybe never going back to him. But I did because I liked him. And for some reason, you know, we hit it off. And I was very comfortable with him. But every single time I went to his clinic for treatment, he would go on and on and on about the art of the ninja jaw and his martial law. Our women are so good at it and oh, you would love it and you know, and I'm like, Just shut up. Let them leave the room and let me relax. Wow. Oh, eventually it took another year, huh. And eventually, he felt that I was triggered again. And you know, that full blown PTSD. cray cray. Yeah. And I went to my and I had stopped seeing him for a while and I went to Marcus like, you know, nobody listened to me. And I just knew he would. And I went to him. And I just told him the whole story. And he's okay, so he started treating me for the symptoms of the PTSD. And his campaign to get me on the mat went into high gear. Wow. But, and he kept saying, there is such a healing power in martial arts. And this could really help you heal. Right. Please come and take some classes with me. Please let me help you. Let me teach you some skills. Let me do this. And I kept saying no, because I couldn't be you know, understand right? Out. Yeah, in a smelly Dojo with a bunch of hairy sweaty man, smacking people around is gonna make me feel any better. And you know, just try it just right. No. Well, it took him two years to wear me down. So three years. Yeah. And they call me stubborn, right. wouldn't give up, he wouldn't give up. So I finally said, Okay, I will take a few classes, because I know I need some self defense techniques. Yeah, yeah, take a few classes, learn some techniques, prove to you how much I'm gonna hate it, and then I will quit.

Stephanie Olson: 36:27

Oh, I bet that didn't happen. I'm happy.

Cheryl Ilov: 36:32

10 years later, I became his first female Black Belt. That's

Stephanie Olson: 36:37

amazing. I love that. Oh, my goodness,

Cheryl Ilov: 36:42

it still shocks me. I mean, I just I was at the dojo earlier today, I did noon class. And I'm standing there with that, you know, belt in the silver, you know, etching and embroidery. And I'm like, I still can't believe you know, that I did that. And of course, all these years later, you know, we're still trademark still teaching me I'm still training. And you know, the rest is history.

Stephanie Olson: 37:05

And the accomplishment and the confidence that you must just consistently receive must be amazing. I love that.

Cheryl Ilov: 37:16

That is amazing. And once I think once I hit about the level of brown, brown belt, I'm pretty sure it was brown belt. I said, I want to start teaching women because you know, even as you're climbing up the ranks, which is another thing, I never wanted the black belt. I never even wanted a yellow belt.

Stephanie Olson: 37:35

Like you didn't want it or that wasn't your goal.

Cheryl Ilov: 37:39

It wasn't my goal. I didn't want it because I wasn't going to hang out there long enough. I was just going to you know, I've paid. I paid my one month to wish you see and I figured one month. I'm good. Yeah, yeah. But no, that didn't happen. And I surprised myself by paying the second month's tuition. And then the third month tuition. And like I said, I never wanted I didn't even want the white belt, but it came with the uniform. Yeah, you had to have that. I had to have that. Yeah. So it's part of it was part of the you know, dress code. So after three months in the dojo, one of the guys started badgering me. And you have to understand I was the only woman a lot of times I was the only woman. So this wasn't one of those dojos like taekwondo or some of the karate schools, right, really big classes, lots of girls. And it wasn't like that, you know, the kids class had a lot of girls, little girls, but not in the adult class. So you know, there I am this middle aged, aging, ballet dancer, you know, princess, hanging out with a bunch of these men going, how do I even talk to them? Because I haven't even had male friends in so many years. At that point. I'd been married for 17 years. And it's like, how can we talk to them? And they're looking like, Why is this person leaving the mat to go fix her lipstick? So,

Stephanie Olson: 39:00

not to look good? Even when you're kicking some serious butt douche. You know,

Cheryl Ilov: 39:04

I'm telling you, God, it was very important, right? So it was finally three months in and one of the guys kept badgering me to test for my yellow belt. And I thought, you know, if it'll shut you up, I'll do it. So I did. And then three months later, same guy badgering me again, it's like okay, so I tested for my second degree yellow belt. And about three months later, I'm looking at the belt rack. I'm looking at all of my techniques in my notes. And I said to mark my sensei, I said, I think I can test for my orange belt. It was my idea. And nobody, yeah, and then it just started to go from there.

Stephanie Olson: 39:44

I love that. That is so incredible. What What an amazing story. I just I want to camp a little bit on that aging thing. Sure, because I think that You know, I mean, just personally, aging was very hard for me, or has been I, I'm over the hump of the difficulty. It's like I've grown to embrace it and grown to embrace my age. But it took me a long time to do that. And I think it would, and I would look at all of these 20 Somethings, and think, Oh, if I had just started, then if I had just done that, then so I would love you to speak to that, because that is such that is such a lie.

Cheryl Ilov: 40:41

It is such a lie. And I told myself that lie for years. I bought the lie. I think I might have even written the lie. Yeah. And that that was me. So yeah, sorry about that lady says a lot. That's why I'm, this is my penance. I'm trying to make up for it. But it's really funny, because even you know, when I was in my mid to late 20s, I felt like I was old. Yes. And then my 30s I felt like ancient ancient Yes. And you know, and then, you know, it'd be working with with the elderly, like, in the hospital, I still a respiratory therapist, and especially the little old women would look at me and say, Oh, honey, don't ever get old. And I said, okay, and I'm thinking how on my gonna avoid that, you know,

Stephanie Olson: 41:28

there's one way to avoid it. And I didn't

Cheryl Ilov: 41:32

know, I didn't want to go that way. And so I was like, how would I do this, and I already felt I felt old, I felt fat. I felt, you know, like, stupid, that I couldn't do anything. And I think a lot of it was, and I'm not saying the way I was raised, but you know, the, you know, the body judgments started coming at a very young age for all of us, you know, and I grew up with four sisters and three girl cousins. And you know, it's like, we wouldn't really pick on each other. But it was just, you know, hey, I noticed this, I noticed that. And then of course, getting into ballet, even as an adult. There's mirrors everywhere.

Stephanie Olson: 42:14

Absolutely. Absolutely.

Cheryl Ilov: 42:16

And, you know, there's a lot of judgment everywhere. Yeah. And even as an adult, as a beginning student, as I was starting to advance through those ranks to there was a lot more you would hear it, you know, your thighs are way too heavy. Your hips are so wide. Well, I'm sorry, I picked the wrong family. Yeah, it's not my, yeah. Rather than embracing, you know, the curves and the lack of what are, you know, some curves, you know, right. And it was just not that that body acceptance, you know, and it was just a beat myself up. And then that friend, that best friend who I did break up with, you know, she was the master at it. And we even one time my husband said that, then there was another woman that we're good friends with, who was one of our ballet teachers. And, you know, it's kind of down on myself, once I'm looking at what I look like. And he says, Well, you didn't Kathleen, and just call Kathleen and lanell and get together and you can talk about how you know all of your imperfections.

Stephanie Olson: 43:15

Oh, well, that sounds like fun. Yeah.

Cheryl Ilov: 43:18

But that's what we would do. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what we would do. And I you know, I tell people that you know, is in my mid it was in my 30s, my mid 30s. When my chronic pain syndrome. Yeah, yeah. So for those two and a half years that I couldn't do anything. You bet. I felt old. Right. And I did gain a lot of weight because I couldn't move. Yeah. And then, you know, finally, it was like, my, my 30s were terrible. And then it was like, Okay, I got myself out of that. And then I was in my early 40s, life was looking good. And I got smacked down again, right. So I was in survival mode, and I didn't even know anything you know about it. And I lost a lot of weight because I lost my appetite. You know, the stress was so bad. And then I look terrible then. But it was I for some reason, I felt like if I could make it to 50 I would be okay. And I really didn't think I would make it to 50. And a lot of my girlfriends once they realize, you know, my ballet sisters found out the whole story and what had happened and then they I finally was getting the support that I craved a long time ago, but I got a lot more support from the dojo than I got from anybody. I mean, these guys, not everybody knew the story only mark and one other guy. But I mean, they were they were my buddies. Wow, that they were my non judgmental friends that I could depend on. That's right. And the first time I got a phone call from one of them, you know, like if they didn't clued me, Hey, you want to go out for a beer or hey, we're gonna meet on Sunday for training Hey, you want to do this? The first time one of them called me and I'm gonna Well, this is uncomfortable. So pick up the phone and, you know, he's like, hey, you know, blah Do you want to meet? We're gonna train blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, yeah. And then he says, okay, so yeah. And he hung up. And I'm sitting there holding the phone going, Wow. Where's the drama? I had no idea that you could have a complete conversation in 30 seconds with a few mono syllables grunts

Stephanie Olson: 45:20

see? Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. That is so I love. I love that. I love that. So I have to tell you this story, because you will appreciate this. So recovering alcoholic, spent a lot of time in AAA meetings. And so many women love to be in the women meetings, because there's so much women hood and crying. There's a lot of crying in women's AAA meetings, a whole lot. And my favorite meetings were the meetings with like, the old guys, you know, the guys who had been sober for a long time, and they're just like, This is what I got to do. And I had this problem, I fixed it. I'm moving on, you know, it was just so cut and dry and no drama. And I just I loved those men, because they just put it in perspective. And just it

Cheryl Ilov: 46:27

was what it was. And that's what I loved about him. It was just like as Wow, these are the facts. You know, just the facts, ma'am. Yes, they were so they were so I hate to use the word transparent. But they were just they were an open book. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, I know, there's a lot of women's networking groups and all these women's meetings. And, you know, a lot of podcasts are women only. And it's like, oh, gosh, I need my man fix. You know, I mean, I need to balance out the energy so much. And, you know, I'm not someone who really loves feelings, and I like to pretend I have none. The don't make me talk about them.

Stephanie Olson: 47:04

You and I are way too much alike. Oh, no. Isn't that beautiful? It's so funny, because, I mean, I adore women. So I'm not I know that go in there. But I'm not a crier. And I don't know what happened in my life. Whatever. I just, I just can't I just don't cry. It's got to be pretty bad. Yeah, I lost my dad in 2008. Teen cried then. The only other times that I have cried recently is two episodes of the office. Yes, very touching. Emotional episodes of The Office. And yeah, I think that's it. Well,

Cheryl Ilov: 47:49

I do do it. But that is what I consider. That's what the cars for. Yes. Okay. Very good. I like Yeah. And even in physical therapy school, I would cry on the way to school, it would take me 20 minutes to get to the to the medical center. So I would cry and I would time it so you know, be able to pull myself together before I had to park and see everybody. On the way home traffic was worse. So I had like 4045 minutes, so I had plenty of time to just let it rip. Until it's like, okay, 10 minutes before I'm home so I can pull myself together. So my husband would know that I was crying because I hated every single day of physical therapy school and stuff. Yeah, but but yeah, I'm with you. I really like to have the male energy. And I love my ballet sisters and my blood sisters. But I adore women. Yeah, but man, I sure do love being around guys, because he just got a love of you just gotta love him. Yeah. But getting back to the aging thing, though. Yeah. Well, thank you. Sure. Once I figured if I hit 50 life, you know, would would change. And I don't know if I planted that seed in my brain. And that's why it happened. But even on my 50th birthday, my ballet friends. I mean, because they knew I was also looking forward to menopause. Believe it or not, there's reasons I had horrible, you know, problems. And it's like, let's just get this over with go over the hump right there. Yeah. And have you ever heard of the Red Hat society? Yes, absolutely. Well, when I heard of it, it's like, you know, the person who organizes it gets to be the queen. But you know, you have to be 50 to join and 50 Because you're old and I'm going right and number one, not going to be old. Right number two. I do not want a red hat. I want a tiara. I earned it. I deserved it. And I wanted a tiara. That's fantastic. My friends got together. There are probably about 30 of us. We they we got a banquet room at this restaurant, downtown Denver. And my friends we all got together had a big birthday party for me. And one of my friends actually went online and bought red trs. So all the ladies who were over 50 and over the Three of them had their little red tiaras love. It's why it was so precious. And then they had a crowning ceremony where I had my red tiara and they, it was just such a special special thing. And I thought you know what? Life is gonna be good. And my 50s are so fantastic. So wonderful

Stephanie Olson: 50:19

way out of your 50s Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Okay, I just that you are amazing. You're just like, you're my total inspiration. Thank you. Are you willing to say how old am I sure. I love that. How old are you?

Cheryl Ilov: 50:42

That's 65. Wow, okay.

Stephanie Olson: 50:45

You're throwing me for a loop now. You are you look. Wow, you look. Look even 50 Oh, God,

Cheryl Ilov: 50:54

I love you. You're my best friend. My new BFF I'm looking for one sci fi.

Stephanie Olson: 50:59

Okay, I'm a good one.

Cheryl Ilov: 51:01

I do believe that I know that. We have to I have to admit that the lighting down here is pretty good. I worked on that. But

Stephanie Olson: 51:09

I've just very that's not an n do not do not miss understand. Looks are not all right that you know. But I think it does help when you take care of yourself and you feel good about yourself. And you look amazing. Because that's what it's all about.

Cheryl Ilov: 51:28

That's and I I remember the very first day that I realized, remember, I told you that monitor your fat, ugly and stupid. Yeah. You know, I remember the day that I found out that I wasn't. And I was 50. I just turned 50 Or is right around the time I was turning 50. And it was like, Okay, here we go. And it was almost like I think a lot happens. You know, I already been through so much. Yeah, and you know, and look at me, I was still standing. So it was like Game on. Yeah. And I made it to 50. And I told all my friends that I was no longer I wasn't going to be inhibited like I was before and then went Oh, geez, this is really a problem. Yeah, so you just don't really care as much about what people think of you, you know, and you stop perseverating on how you look, and you start perseverating on how you feel and how you move. And, you know, it's and it is it's mindset, it's mindset that we are all getting older. Yes. And getting older is inevitable. But being old is a choice. And it's just finding those really simple things in life that give us pleasure and joy. And, you know, look at all the things you've done, and you know how far you've come and how much more you have to offer people. Yeah, it's just great.

Stephanie Olson: 52:47

That is fantastic. I I'm personally very inspired. Because I think there there is this limit we put on ourselves. Yep. And you know, oh, I shouldn't start that. Because I'm, you know, I'm 53. And so I don't want to start that. And I think that we do those things. And what a shame. I mean, it's a tragedy if we choose to do that.

Cheryl Ilov: 53:16

Well, and it's not just that we do it to ourselves, I think we do it to ourselves, because we hear it from society so much as we hear it over and over and over again. And then you know, you hear those those messages. Yeah. And, you know, if you once once we hear it enough,

Stephanie Olson: 53:34

yeah, we believe it. Right, exactly. Even if

Cheryl Ilov: 53:37

it goes against our inherent belief system, right? Our brain is hearing those messages. It's not judging if it's right or wrong, or if it's true or false. It just keeps programming it like a computer, and then we believe it and then we become it but if I can share another little secret salutely Okay, so don't tell anybody this will

Stephanie Olson: 53:57

be okay. I will not say a word. Okay, so

Cheryl Ilov: 54:01

I'm at the age when I turned 58 I decided it was time to start engaging in more age appropriate activities.

Stephanie Olson: 54:10

Okay, what does that mean?

Cheryl Ilov: 54:13

I started pole dancing. Oh,

Stephanie Olson: 54:16

that is a good workout. Hello.

Cheryl Ilov: 54:19

It is the hardest thing I've ever done. It's so hard.

Stephanie Olson: 54:23

Wow. Good for you. I think thank you. Fantastic. So do you do that at a gym or that sounds like a stupid question.

Cheryl Ilov: 54:36

Wow, yeah. Loaded question. Right. You know, so for all of those gym owners who are listening to this episode are gonna say, Wow, that would be a fantastic way to increase you know, clientele or to Yeah, when the gym. There are. It's a pool studio. So there are studios all over the place. I'm sure you can find them in your area. Up here. No pole studios near me. And you know, they call it fit pole price or pole dancing, but it is really good. I did it kind of on a dare from your friend of mine who a much younger friend, you should try it and I'm like, Let's try it together. And she said no. So it's like, fair. No, it was not. So I tried it and it was like really kind of fun. And then after a certain, you know, period of time, then you start doing like they call them tricks, but I refuse to call them that I call them techniques. Very good, where you're going upside down really doing these acrobatic stuff? Yeah. Um, I almost quit them. But I found a coach who, who's really good. So I do privates every now and again, so she could get me over that hump. But she this woman, I love her to death. She actually talked to me into competing.

Stephanie Olson: 55:53

Is that right? I did not know they had competitions.

Cheryl Ilov: 55:56

I should see some of these. Wow, these people are amazing men too. There are you know, they're very athletic. Incredibly athletic. Yeah. And you're you're trying to do these things and look like you're enjoying it and look graceful, too. But yeah, and you do have a little bit of sexy going on. But yeah, so I was swabs in 2019. So I was 63. So I competed in they can they break the divisions per age and level of ability. And so there were only three of us in my division. So it was actually

Stephanie Olson: 56:33

a division. Yes, you did. So I'm a gold

Cheryl Ilov: 56:37

medalist pole dancer.

Stephanie Olson: 56:39

Wow. That is something to hang your hat on. Actually, I think that's fabulous.

Cheryl Ilov: 56:46

I thought so too. And I also was, you know, there was a part of me that said, Oh, thank goodness, my mother's not around to see this.

Stephanie Olson: 56:51

Well. Yeah. You know, not everything needs to be shared. With satellites.

Cheryl Ilov: 56:57

Yeah, exactly.

Stephanie Olson: 57:00

Well, wow, that that is amazing. And so today, the pain is gone is manageable. What I have

Cheryl Ilov: 57:11

no pain. I have no pain. I do wake up sometimes going, Why did I do that to myself yesterday? Yeah, um, you know, because I have a tendency to overdo, you know, some days I'll actually do on Mondays I'll do a poll class. And then I drive to the dojo and do you know, martial arts class? And then I sit in a hot bathtub. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I, I push myself because I can, yeah, I push myself because I, it's not that I want to be a role model for people. But I do want people to understand that considering where I was, and where I am. Now, if I had known that, yeah, in my 30s. And in my 40s, where I would be at this point in my life, I would have enjoyed the journey a lot more, I wouldn't have worried as much I would have trusted myself, I would have listened to my gut, my gut instincts, and go back to that time when you're a little girl. And, you know, my childhood was pretty good. I think. I mean, it wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good. And there were a lot of wonderful things that happened and a lot of things that weren't, but go back to the spirit of that little girl that loved you know, playing in the yard, exploring things, you know, twirling around and pretending she was a dancer, and, you know, things like that and playing with your friends playing in the dirt. You know, Clay more work less.

Stephanie Olson: 58:35

Yes. I love that. I love that. And did you ever get the opportunity to go back to that original doctor who said you will never know that thought?

Cheryl Ilov: 58:51

In your mind? No, in my mind, you know, I did. And I did go back in my mind a couple of times, and I slapped her across the slab. And then another time I went back and I said you don't want thanks for saying that because you were absolutely right. That is a self fulfilling prophecy because it did come true. I cannot do my grocery shopping and my laundry on the same day. Because at least three days a week at least. I would take a professional hour and a half professional level ballet class. drive across town changed my clothes, hour and a half martial arts class. I didn't have the time and I was too tired. Let somebody else do the laundry.

Stephanie Olson: 59:36

I love that. That is Oh, that is fantastic. Well, good for you. So let's talk your books a little bit. Yeah, Okey doke. You are an author. So now your first book you have you have three books. No two two books you Okay? Okay. So your first book just has a fabulous long title.

Cheryl Ilov: 1:00:00

So yeah, really long title with a lot of iterations.

Stephanie Olson: 1:00:04

Yes. So forever fit and flexible, feeling fabulous at 50 and beyond. I love that. Okay, thank you tell me about that.

Cheryl Ilov: 1:00:14

So the book is, you know, when I haven't had my clinic near my office, and you know, it's helping so many people teaching them the things that I taught myself to get out of pain and be as functional as possible. And with all of my experience as a physical therapist and working with people, as well as my own personal experience as a chronic pain, patient and the recovery, with all the additional trainings that I took after I graduated with the Pilates, you know, certification or the training, something called Feldon, Christ, I did that. Even with the martial arts training and the dance training, it all comes down to movement. I am a physical therapist who hates exercise and thinks that chocolate is food. Okay?

Stephanie Olson: 1:00:55

Well, it is. So I know, I know

Cheryl Ilov: 1:00:59

how to get that response. But I love to move. And everybody loves to move if they can find the right thing that just, you know resonates with them that feels their, their soul with joy when they do it. And that really, you know, makes them happy and puts a smile on their face. And there are so many different movement modalities to do. So what I do in the book is, you know, I take away the judgment. So we talked about mindset, you know, attitude, you know, setting your goals, put away the you know, going to the gym and all that stuff. Don't listen to that you don't unless you love going or just don't go start moving more move better move with intention. And then in the middle of the book, I include some movement lessons that people can do like exploratory movements to connect with your body again and to find that mind body connection. And you know, if that's some recommendations, you might want to try, you know, different Pilates Feldenkrais Tai Chi is a beautiful one. Some people love yoga, I don't, but try it. If it's something that you know, resonates with you. There are so many different things out there that you can try another lady I talked to does something called cute yoga, which is very similar to Feldenkrais, which is what I do. So there's just so much out there. So just keep exploring. And you know, so that's basically what the book is about. I give you tips about how to monitor your progress, you know, get a buddy, things are always happy, better. When you have a friend or two, you could support each other, you know, start a walking group, you know, keep I hate journaling. But I don't mind taking notes. So you might want to take notes or a little diary of what you're doing. And yeah, if you have any questions, you can give me a call or you know, connect with me talk.

Stephanie Olson: 1:02:50

Oh, that's fabulous. Okay, talk about ninja.

Cheryl Ilov: 1:02:54

Whoo. Okay, the title is The Reluctant ninja, how a middle aged Princess became a warrior queen. I love long

Stephanie Olson: 1:03:00

titles. That's fabulous. And

Cheryl Ilov: 1:03:04

thank you, we just uploaded it to Amazon today. But it will still won't be available until I get my sample book. And you know, make sure everything's okay. So it's basically going to be out in another week or two. And that chronicles my journey into this crazy, you know, world of men and martial arts and my, my experience and what happened and there's a lot of really funny stories in it. So it's not a downer, you know, I mean, it does give the downer part. But it goes back and forth to when I was having a severe test of faith. Not sure if I wanted to continue on with my training or call it quits. And going back to Los Angeles to train with marks sensei. So my sensei Sensei, I went there by myself for three days, threw myself at the feet of the master and says, I don't care what you do to me. Yeah, you know, if I survive, then, you know, in my mind, I didn't see him. Right, right. If I survived, that was my answer. I'd continue to train. If he broke me. That was my answer. I was done. Wow. So that's all

Stephanie Olson: 1:04:12

you survived. I did have is amazing. And so by the time people are listening to this, I just want to make you aware of the reluctant ninja will be available. So yes, that is just so exciting. I'm just I love it. Now. Cheryl, I could talk to you for hours. And I have a feeling we will think so. Yes. But how do people find you? Well, you can

Cheryl Ilov: 1:04:41

go to my website, which is www dot Cheryl i love.com. And if you sign up for my newsletter, you have access to three audio recordings that are made talking you through some movement lessons, just so you can kind of get an idea. They're only 20 minutes long. Get an idea of how you can Be able to connect with your body again, if that's something that interests you, you know if it does, you know, and if it doesn't, you know, and you can always unsubscribe, I my newsletter comes out once a month, a few tips, you know, on fitness, wellness, health recipes, some kind of fun stuff. Yeah. Great. Really fun stuff. So you do that you can always connect with me on LinkedIn. I love connecting with people just look up, Cheryl. I love iLv there's only one to me. Yes. You can also find me on Facebook and Instagram, but I'm probably you know, anyway. Yeah, Facebook and Instagram. I'm fairly active, but not as much as I could be.

Stephanie Olson: 1:05:44

Yeah. Oh, that. Well, you're, you're busy. That's okay. I would rather have you out there doing all the things and sitting on social media anyway. So good for you. Good Faith. Oh, thank you. So final question. Sure. Does resilience mean to you?

Cheryl Ilov: 1:06:04

Oh, resilience means just never giving up. I have a hard time with resilience because I think I parent up with tenacity, tenacity, and incomparable stubbornness. Yes, yeah. And that's really what resilience is to me. And sometimes when you're really at rock bottom, and you think you want to give up, you can't give up. Yeah. There's that little bit of resilience that's just pushing you that says, come on now. It's not time you are not done yet. Oh, I

Stephanie Olson: 1:06:42

love it. Well, you are so inspiring thing. Oh, thank you so much for being on this podcast. I just, I have loved every second of it. So

Cheryl Ilov: 1:06:54

thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I have another new BFF this is one

Stephanie Olson: 1:06:58

yes. Yes. I just love talking to you. I am not gonna say mean things to you. So I know you. Well, I know can you to be BFFs This is awesome.

Cheryl Ilov: 1:07:08

And I am looking forward to having you on my show. So I cannot wait. cannot have a lot more fun. Yes. That's collaboration going. Fabulous.

Stephanie Olson: 1:07:18

Well, thank you so much, Cheryl. I appreciate it. And thank you for listening to resilience in life and leadership, and we'll see you next time. Thank you for listening. Please share with anyone you think will benefit from this podcast.